if i could turn back time
I had the inspiration to write about “friends” when I read angel’s little post-of-a-dream on d i s a p p o i n t m e n t and friends, and king’s wife’s I turn to you. Some of the comments to those posts got my brain ticking too.
While driving home, I had all those thoughts and sentences forming in my mind.
Even when I showered. And dressed. And dined.
And then…
When I finally had some time to pen down my thoughts…
They’d all disappeared. Damn it.
I remembered a post I did about compartmentalising people, in the lunchbox of friends.
I read the comments.
I re-read them.
I felt so sad.
I wept as Vitamin C’s Graduation (Friends Forever) played over the airwaves.
And I wondered in all the naivety of that post, if I’d ever imagined how drastically things have changed, in the last seven months.
If I could turn back time, would I have done anything differently?
Perhaps.
Maybe.
But I wouldn’t be where I am today if I didn’t go through what I went through. Have to take in the good with the bad, that’s what they say. Comings and goings. Ebb and flow. Seasons and reasons.
I wish there weren’t such things, for my own selfish sake.
It’s hard work building bridges and maintaining them in good condition.
It’s even tougher to handle when they crumble to pieces despite your repair works.
Or when your attempts go unheeded.
Unreturned.
That’s when the soul weeps.
And the heart breaks.
Regretfully yours.
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chup & hug first ahh…
*hugchup*
hug hug first too
cannot sleep
Can’t chup, but can hug…
Occasionally I do hope I can turn back the time..
if there is a time machine..
if I can go back to the past..
mmm… what will be the outcome if I able to do so?
I dunno..
perhaps better?
or perhaps worse?
or perhaps… it’s time for me to go zzzzz…
and dream about it tonight…
mmmm…
forget to say..
nice pict of bamboo berries
first time leh I see this
That’s the bestest shot of the bamboo berries?
My comments in my mind disappeared as well… I’ll try to see if I could dream of some inspirations tonite, ok?
*No Regrets*
What are all these people doing up awake at 2:00amish?!!!
…so many demons, so little time…
If I could turn back time, I would have done things differently. I would be different than I am now, but I would still be me.
So it doesn’t matter, because you would still be may and we would all still be here for you.
ah boy tak faham all these human stuff..
too deep
is the bamboo berries edible?
ah boy hungry..
CHEER UP!!
*hugs*hugs*
No regrets sweet May. Hold yourself together. Regrets will never do the trick. Regrets puts you in neutral at its best and forces you in reverse at the worst. Strengthen your heart by going forward.
Every new day is blessing and to be embraced. So embrace life and don’t backslide.
I remember my son commented that he wished he could go back to kindergarten. Why? Because that is the last time all the kids were sweet and nice to each other. After that each year got a little worse as kids changed and some for the worse. And as I think about life in general, sweetness gets knocked away the older we get.
The last time folks really hug friends as friends is in school. It really diminshes as you progress through uni. Then a time comes and it just stops. The affection for fellow man, except those select few that fill your cliches.
So where in the heck am I going with this? I think as people quit doing what is normal, like hugging, we lose our sweetness. Kids naturally know what to do. Adults stifle it and then run around with angst and confusion.
Let me leave this hug for you. HUG!!!
Just as you have written and I, too have read somewhere that friends come into our life for a reason and a season. As I reflect upon it, I found it to be so very true (though it’s so hard to accept). I’ve had friends coming and going in my life. Some, no matter, how hard I try to maintain the relationship, still ended up with nought. But when we were friends, they have blessed me in one way or another but when that need is no longer there, they just move away. Regrets, I have quite a few but when we really sit down and count the blessings, I bet they outweigh the regrets, yah!
*spray anti depression spray in blog sphere~*
*psssssssssssstttttttttt~~*
*watch ah may happily io ka chng away~*
Sometimes, though these friends are not around, but they remember us.
Hmmm.. funny thing, this is exactly what has been crossing my mind lately…
Yeah, if just I could turn back time… not only in my “real life” but also in this blogging world. I miss the old times with those “blogger friends” where we were so close each other but then…. I guess no turn back time. *big sigh*
As Chen wrote once in her blog:
When things are broken,
No matter how hard you try to fix or mend it,
Things will no longer be perfect…
And it won’t be the same again..
The scar(s) will remain..
i’m selfish too - i want to turn back to the good times only.
can’t chup too, but can hug! i like this!
erm, i have alotsa funny thought, deep thought about friendship, relationship, life, goal, aim, direction…lately.
but having mind block when i tried to write them down…
same same
*good morning hugs*
lately the postings are quite solem…well well…I got a perfect song for this kinda mood…try look for “Plus One - When Your Spirit Gets To Weak”. Very nice song, if u can’t find it lemme know I send to u via msn/skype,ym ok! gerooo~
hee…i used to cry when i hear that song too..HAHAHAH
well…everything happens for a reason…they are all part of God’s great n mighty plan…
if A din happen, B might not have happen…and bcos of B …we might hv C…haa…so we just never know
when words fail….*hugsssssss*
Like the chinese saying goes, “in life, if we’re able to find one true friend, then we die without regrets”.
*hugs* (lost for words)
well well… many things done kenot be undone.
Perhaps it’s the wonder work of god.
And well… I hate the fact that people are trying to go back to the past, time travel back trying to fix all the mistakes done back then.
There is a reason for things to happen. It was wrong before to make sure you learn and move on be a better person. By hoping to go back to past and fix it simply means you dun have to worry if you hurt someone or make mistakes because you know you can refix it by going back to the past.
Yes, you are right. You what have pass have made you what you are today. Be grateful. Be happy. We are all happy for you are you and what you will be in the future.
*hugs*
some things always look better the next morning…
princess a - 5, and of course you can chup & hug first, cumbek later!
plink - 3, another huggerchupper!
Chen - 1, hug hug! ha, see? nap long-long summore, now kenot sleep pulak…
L B - I’ll take whatever you’ll give! hug!!
Chen - I don’t so much want to turn back time, as I’d wonder how it’d be like to have 2 parallel universes running. whenever a choice could’ve been made the other way which would’ve made a big difference, the “original me” could go down one path, and “the other me” goes down the other. see what happens, compare the two, learn from both experiences.
then again, I’d have too many split personalities!! liuliuliu!! ok ok, better to just go to sleep, hor. no eye see to what I don’t know…
your first time too? my first time too! never seen bamboo plants with red berries, unlike L B’s flowering bamboo. spotted this at Little Penang during dinner, I was sitting next to it. quite the charming, so the Christmas!
princess a - ya lor, this is the most un-blur of the lot I took! the rest weren’t salvageable. any inspirational thoughts yet? I think mine have decided to just call it a day and disappear forever. *dream* *dream* *no regrets* *dream* *dream*
L B - these people are zombies, I’m sure you know that by now already! especially Doktor who had the long afternoon nap, until she forgot to feed Ah Boy! I’m giving up fighting them demons for now. till after Christmas. till after hibernation. ignorance is bliss… *dream* * dream*
plink - hmmm, somehow what you said kinda made sense. no matter what we do, we’re still ourselves, even though we might’ve turned out differently. then again, would I have met all of you if I didn’t start blogging? if I didn’t meet up face-to-face? if this, if that… too many ifs!! I think I’ll stick to this life. it’s good, once I see the bigger picture for what it’s worth. *smiley face*
Ah Boy - you so cham, so hungry meh? Chen still hasn’t fed you?! dunno if the berries are edible anot, but I think better not try ler, afterwards got tummyache then how? human stuff is too complicated. life is great as a dog. eat, sleep, play, sayang, and be merry!
consuela - cheers are up! things aren’t so bad as they seem, it was just one of those reflective moments that needed a little articulation. *HUGS!*
SA - funny you should mention “hold yourself together”. all day yesterday, I was chanting to myself, “don’t lose it now, snap out of it, keep it together…”! must’ve been a very bad and blue Monday, so glad that’s over and done with. Tuesdays always look slightly better. just slightly.
I don’t think it’s the sweetness we have lost. I think it’s how we have taken most things for granted, and when we get caught with our insides turned out, we wondered what happened back then which we had closed our eyes and hearts to in the first place. almost like what they say, “you don’t know what you have until you’ve lost it”. does that make sense?
regret isn’t something I dwell on. it comes, and it passes. just that sometimes, in passing, it cuts deep. it heals eventually.
bkworm - yes, definitely have to count the blessings we have. yet sometimes the human mind and heart can’t help but look back upon the good times, and wish there were more of those to last, especially when we were the happiest then. or happier, at the very least. well, here’s to more good times head! and long-lasting friendships.
Ben - LOLOL!! I love that anti-depressant spray you have there! where could I get more of that? I’ll have a dozen cans please, thanks! *io ka ch’ng… io ka ch’ng…*
Jo - some will remember us, and some will choose to forget. I guess, having said that, we need to appreciate those who do think of us every now and then, yes? and tell them so.
Selby - no turning back. that’s the reality of it, no matter how we wish upon a star for it to happen. many things I have done, at times I wished I didn’t do. but I know I wouldn’t have had it any other way because without them, I wouldn’t have known certain things nor gain the experience, bitter or sweet, to be the person that I am now.
nonyapenang - I think we all want that too! good times only. yet without the bad, the good wouldn’t be as “good”, would they? hmmm…
carcar - and I like it that you can hug!!
you experiencing memory loss like me too? ah, signs of getting old. or maybe our brains are smarter than we thought, kinda like filtering out some stuff which could potentially drive us crazy. selective memory. what do you think? *good afternoon hugs!*
Monkticon - sometimes when the mood strikes, it strikes a few days at once! LOL! ok ok, less solemn posts from now on, for as long as I can. I’ll look for the song later when I’m home, thanks for the recommendation! I’ll alert you if the song doesn’t turn up on my search…
I have a big hoo-haa with my best friend recently. Will post up the conversation later this week.
Now everyone is writing about friends. Haha. ;p
Pink Cotton - which song, “If I Could Turn Back Time”? the one by Cher? actually, I only know the tune, not so much of the lyrics. or do you mean Plus One’s “When Your Spirit Gets To Weak”? I’m confused now, haha!!
yup, you’ll never know what would’ve happened if this and that didn’t happen. or happened differently. guess I’m stuck with who I am now, and just need to keep marching forward! *left… right… left… right…*
me - hugs are the best kind of “words”, I should think!
Samm - that’s a good saying. I need to learn more Chinese proverbs, I’m so bad at those! they always have one for every occasion and situation, yea? I think I saw a book of Chinese proverbs (translated to English, of course) on sale somewhere. might be a good time to add that to my pile.
zara’s mama - *hugs* there’s no need to say anything… *smiles*
velverse - yes ma’am! nothing that could be undone, once done. no CTRL+Z, or CTRL+ALT+DEL, or CMD+Z buttons for us to push. makes me wonder, though… does it mean we have to be so careful in our actions in the future, to avoid getting caught between the devil and the deep blue sea? would that prohibit the endless possibilities that could have been, if we aren’t so cautious? heheh. something for me to mull over while sitting on the throne…
yeah…let me know huh if u can’t find it…i got about 60gigs of MP3 here…gerori~
y everyones so emotional abt frienship.
actually i have my fair shares of stories like these.i’m not a very warmth person. like i said in the past, i sux at keeping in touch:P so i am not a good fren.
i have a fren whom had treated me well and whom i havent contacted for a year now. sometimes hor, after not contacting for some time, i find it sucha convenient to keep a distance or not contact anymore. aint me weird? shld i patch thigns up ? But even if i do, things wil not be the same anymore.:P but why i like that har? i oso dun understand myself!
i admire ppl like carcar, who’d would go the extra miles to send heart cards, and like u who’d make cookies to share. haha
oh actually after reading king’s wife mia ‘ i turn to you’ hor, i think adults dun actually refer best fren as best fren ( if we have one) , they call them heng dai or ji muis .
wah i wrote long comments.
eh who said i never reply comments…..i do la…..sparingly:P
aiyoh…u making me feel down too May May…..BIG HUG BIG HUG!…..if u need more hugs, let me know….will try sneaking upstairs..
♥hugs winn too♥
sometimes… i do prefer to keep a distance within fren. the deeper our frenship is, the more we expect… hey c’mon, subconsciously we did , sometimes.
to be continue…
Regrets. Blessings. Past. Future. Life. Sigh. And many hugs…I think people who claim that they have no regrets lie. We all have regrets because we make mistakes. Life is full of mistakes. But there are other things that are so right as well. And that makes all the difference.
The cause and effect…
I am out of words but I guess I can only say this
Travel the roads with confidence and keep those that you think have been with you close
Today I feed Ah Boy good stuff, as compensation for what I did yesterday
Errr…Since when Winn becomes so cheong hei?
even more cheong hei then Carcar?
LOL
eee.. masuk akismet spam bin again pulak..
Sigh…We can only learn from past mistakes. Everyone has regrets. Don’t think so much. Can’t turn back also.
And remember, everything happens for a reason.
can feel pain. means alive. haiz, you and Angeliu same topic. i oso tongue tight there.
titoki - huar, drama! I love dramas! yea, since quite a few bloggers were on the topic, might as well jump on the bandwagon!
Monkticon - 60GB?! I think that’s more than what I have! only 35 CDs worth, and counting… slowly. you’ve triple my volume, can open CD store liao…
Winn - I also dunno why everyone so emotional about friendship. I know I am lah, always emo wan! listen to song also emo, watch movie also emo, my dog look at me with pitiful eyes also emo. how leh? how?
actually hor, I’m not very good at keeping in touch with my old friends either. especially those from school and uni. I do have a handful I touch base with occasionally, and even then, it’s initiated by them, very seldom me… I so bad, hor? we all bad togeder-geder lah! my ji mui!!
don’t bluff… sometimes Liucas replies comments on your behalf, kan? notti fella, hahaha!
Beefcake - me down only mah, you no need down wan. you sneak upstairs to where ah? thanks for the hugs!
carcar - yes, expectations are always higher for friends whom we trust and confide in. it’s a two-way thing, can’t have close friends without being a good friend yourself. ei… comment also got continuation wan ah? when is part 2 coming?
oh, surely there will be a seperation between friends in turn to find our own dream, some are in local and some are in oversea, but they have already leave some footprints in our heart, we wont forget each other and will automatically update the latest news and keep in touch, i guess this is the cycle of friendship…
Jane Sunshine - wisely said, my dear! I love the way you put things into perspective. life’s one big balancing act, isn’t it? won’t have it any other way.
zeroimpact - keeping them close is the problem. what if they don’t want to be kept close, despite you wanting them to? *sigh*
Chen - *fishes you out from the recycle bin once again…*
good Doktor! I’m glad Ah Boy decided not to suck your fingers too. everybody is cheong hei sometimes, even Winn! are we having some sort of competition to be the most long breath or what? I think I’ll lose liao, I’m very bad at cerita keling!
king’s wife - learning, learning. regretting, but not dwelling on regrets. thinking, but not going crazy with analytics. looking for those elusive reasons…
misti - W E L C O M E H U G S ! ! yes, I’m ALIVE!! thank you for reminding me, mistiliuliu!! come come, let me untie your tongue. you’ll need that to speak up when we meet you, yes? *grin*
sin ling - ah, the wonders of modern technology! and snail mail. yes, a few good friends to keep in touch with, and may your friendships last!
I understand that feeling. Its the kind that makes ye feel like your sinking and the floor keeps dropping. Well here’s to Wednesday, Hump-day, the weekend is in sight feeling.
oh u downstairs ah?…damn, then last time whose room we used when u took me upstairs ah?…*blush*
may day.
did get much frm this one, abit deep for a shallow guy like me, but i hope i m a fren.
SA - pretty much, a floor that’s perpetually going down. I almost mis-read that as “humping” day, LOLOL!! and it’s now Thursday. time surely flies, even though it’s crawling. *sigh*
Beefcake - what were you doing in my brother’s room eh?! and with that Real Doll™, too… must’ve been up to no good!
khae tiks - kay day. you’re doing good by my books. you’re not shallow, just wisely keeping it at a level where you’re comfortable… heheh. hugs, my friend.
I was worried you or someone else might read it like that. So I added the dash for clarity. Guess it worked. Common term for reaching the down hillslide over here. I still feel so tired can die.
so did ya found the song?
SA - harhar! but it was still “humping” at first glance, till I looked a little harder. the weekend is here, rest well!
Monkticon - yup, found it! good ol’ Limewire. ’tis a cool song, thanks for the recommendation!
Opps… forgive me for being busy.. er…
well well.. to a certain point.. yes we must be cautious with what we do or say (IMHO)
Well.. when we aren’t cautious, then take it as a lesson learnt. Nothing is perfect mar… and that is what strives us to be a better person. Yeah.. although we can’t be perfect.. but try our best to be the closest to perfect