the lunchbox of friends
I’m guilty of compartmentalising people.
You know, the art of putting the people you meet into neat little segmented classification of family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, and strangers. Almost like putting different kinds of food into a lunchbox so you’d have a mix of goodies, but neatly separated in their wrappers, containers and such.
But oh no, it doesn’t stop there.
I mean, it’s easy enough if they’re family. You can’t quite call them anything else but family. If you really think about it, the family circle extends so far and wide, you and I might even be related (this statement is not for my cousins who read this, you already ARE family, not an “extended circle”).
Back to compartmentalisation.
When we were growing up, it was so easy to describe who the other person is in relation to you. “Oh, she’s my friend.” And if you didn’t like the other person, you just say, “I don’t friend you!” and that was the end of the friendship, until the next day when all is forgotten and you’re back to being best of buddies.
As I got older and knew more people, however, I start putting more and more labels on them. I’m sure a lot of you do, too. They aren’t as simple as just family and friends anymore. I had classmates, ex-classmates, colleagues, ex-colleagues, boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, boyfriends who weren’t really my “boyfriends”, girlfriends (but not the other type though I know some of them too), boss, student, teacher, climbing buddies, biking buddies, blogger pals, penpals, chat friends, the dreaded “friends of the family”… oh, you get the drift.
You could even break down the labels to sub-labels, like classmates, for example. Primary school classmates, secondary school classmates, college classmates, university classmates, tuition classmates. And more, but I don’t want to go any further, I’m sure I’d lose myself in there.
And what happens when some of those compartmentalised people move categories? Cross boundaries?
I’m close to my ex-colleagues from my first job. We’ve stayed in touch throughout these years, still go out and have a good time once in awhile. So they’re more like friends now. Yet their still ex-colleagues.
There are also the current colleagues (hello, boys and girls) whom I’m close to as well. Well, close in the sense that it goes beyond just work, and you pig out at every available restaurant, have a wild and crazy time at some secluded place, and tease one another endlessly. They could be considered friends too, right? But… they’re still colleagues. What does that make them, frienleagues? Ex-frienleagues in the case above? No no, that sounds like they’re my ex-friends as well. I’d need to stick to frienleagues then.
What about people whom you used to call “friends” at one time because you were close (e.g. in school), but whom you’ve long outgrown since and lost touch for many, many years? Do they go back to just being classmates or [insert label here]?
There are also those acquaintances whom you know on a surface level, yet at some point you know them a little more personally though still not quite there yet. Where do they cross the borderline to become your friend? Does it need some life-changing, browniepoint-earning situation to be bunked up a classification?
Oh, boy.
This just gets so confusing, doesn’t it?
So hey, I’ve come up with a brilliant solution.
Clean up the mess, break down those walls and all.
You, my dears…
Are my friends.
Even if you were a blast from my past whom I’ve not seen for 18 years, suddenly come back into my life, then goes out of touch again for another 18 more.
Even if I’ve only met you for a couple of times. As long as our meetings were on a cordial note, you’re a friend.
Boys and girls of the friendleague union, you’re definitely my friends.
The auntie who sells noodles at the corner coffeeshop nearby, if you constantly give us more noodles than anyone else each time we order our food from you, you’re my friend too. (Ok, you’re Mum’s friend.)
The bloggers and non-bloggers and lurkers who read my blog and give me hugs and kisses and encouragement, share my joy and laughter, stand by me in times of sorrow and try not to laugh when I fess up on silly things, how could you not be my friends? Of course you are my friends!
Oh, but there has to be an exception. Nasty people don’t make it on my friends list. People who don’t respect other people, slander and defame other souls, joy suckers, the “bad people out there” (thieves, robbers, rapists, suicide bombers, etc) and all those who make me feel yucky about myself on a regular basis - nope. You don’t make it on this list.
Am I your friend, too?
*smiles*
36 Comments so far
Leave a reply
BFF!
Of course you are my friend. I would hate to lose you for 18 years. Its a pity I had to wait 47 years to meet you. But I’m glad I’m here now. Where else could I encounter such cutes toes-es anyway?
Hugs
I’m still ‘friend-ing’ you.
Yes.. we’re all friends!!
i fren u, u fren me?
one thing abt frenleagues… me thinks frens should stay frens and colleauges, well, they should stay as colleagues…there’s this case where at first, all of ‘em are what u call, frenleauges, they go out and hv fun and all… UNTIL one of ‘em got promoted…i suppose u could guess how the story goes…sad, but true…
my 2 cents
You’re my friend too.
When I read this entry of yours, it is funny how we all are somewhat similar in thought despite never met face-to-face. I am guilty of compartmentalizing people. I suppose it is not something that we do on purpose but consciously we do it. Weird. But really, I need compartments. For I take a lot of pride when keeping in touch with friends (including those I made through my blog). I have those whom I really take the time to meet and have dinner or lunch or brunch or coffee or even dropping by their blogs. Perhaps, the best I can do for now after reading this entry of yours is to reduce the labels and get rid of sub-labels. That way, I won’t take up too many comparments. No? Hehehe….
i only fren u when u let me taste your pasteries/bread/cookies/cake, otherwise, no fren. dun wana wana tok 2 u long long.
lol
Lin Peh is your friend but no sure u want to admit or not la
you had me a little pusing with all those compartments of friends there…..lucky you decided to merge all your definitions again.
friends are friends what. no need to define how, where, when and why you met them. only if you still friend them…
one of your life’s greatest blessing is having all these friends.
yeah, definitely friends!
Hi May, I’m visiting from BookWorm’s blog. I like those metal luncboxes! Where can one get one in KL?
Of course you are my friend. I have you on my IM list, right! hehe!
***breaks into …..
keep smilin’
keep shinin’
knowing you can always
count on me
for sure
that’s what friends are for
for good times
and bad times
I’ll be on your side
forever more
that’s what friends are for…***
SO THE DRAMA!!..
So the nice post.. WAAAAAA
Postman visited your house (what a house!) this afternoon
For sure, I consider you as my friend! although we have not meet each other yet in the real life
*HUGS*
hee hee, talking about compartmentalizing frens, it is enevitable. I summore got to assign different ringtones for them!! LOL
Seriously, blogging frens are a complicated lot. Most of these ppl u dun know them, but at the same time, u know everything about them. I believe the longer u go to the blog, the closer the feel there is……
I think I should start one of those old school stuff called autograph book. e-autograph anyone??
*HUGS jimbo tight-tight*… BFF!!! *muaks*!
SA - awwww, you’re such a darling! nevermind those 47 years, there’ll be more years ahead for a bee-yoo-tiful friendship, yea? *HUGS*HUGS*!
zara’s mama - …and I friend you! oooh, and I friend little Zara too! *muaks*
angel - you friend me, I friend you! hehehe! I don’t think I’ve encountered any sort of situation where, because one got promoted and the other didn’t, we stopped being friends and went back to “just colleagues”. I guess I’ve been lucky enough to work in environments where we support and encourage one another to do well, and celebrate when the other gets promoted. (p.s. that also means more free makan! LOL!!)
Poison - *phew*… I’m not the only one guilty of compartmentalising, then! I know we tend to put multiple labels on the people we meet and get to know, and although we try our best to make it as simple as possible, sometimes we can’t help but automatically sort them back to more labels and sub-labels to keep things in perspective. we are such complicated beings, aren’t we? but I’m definitely glad I can call you my friend!
keatix - I will friend you even if you don’t get to taste my pasteries/bread/cookies/cake, and dun talk to me long long time… “tai yann yau tai leong”! kekekeke!
of course lin peh is my friend la! summore got meet face to face wor, how can not be friend leh?
mslenglui - oh, friends are indeed wonderful blessings. especially those who stick by you through thick and thin, no matter how often or little you meet up throughout the year. they’re always there for you. those are friends to really treasure!
king’s wife - yay! so glad we’re on the same wavelength! can I be your kids’ friends too?
marita paige - hello, hello! you like them lunchboxes? I found these pictures on the Internet, I’m not sure if they sell these particular ones here. but I did manage to get my hands on a couple of lunchboxes with really cute patterns, quite a long long time ago; I found them in the gifts section of Jaya Jusco, where they sell those cute Hello Kitty stuff, gifts and knick knacks. perhaps you could try your luck there? rather hard to find them here in KL, for sure. good luck in your hunt!
bkworm - …and I’m really honoured to be on your list! now, why haven’t we chatted since then? must really get in touch with you again, for a quick tete-a-tete!
waaaaaaa… LB so the drama!! got song summore!! waaaaaa!!! *starts singing…*
you just call out my name
and you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again
winter, spring, summer or fall
all you have to do is call
and I’ll be there
you’ve got a friend…
fishtail - I got home today and saw the package waiting for me. ooooh, I found not only one, but TWO books! thank you, thank you, thank you sooooo much! did my doggie come greet mr. postman at the gate? she’s kinda shy, might’ve been hiding somewhere. ohhh… *HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*!
Selba - sometimes, people need never meet, yet be the best of friends across the miles! just like penpals, yea? I used to have one in Germany, and once in verrryyyy blue moon (like 2 years!), I’d still receive a card from her, and I’d send one to her too. *HUGS*!!
helen - I totally agree on the blogger friends! we read all the posts, we know about them, yet we still don’t quite know them. and even when we don’t know them personally i.e. face-to-face, we do feel much closer to them with each post, yea?
e-autograph… ooooh, I like that idea! I had autograph books too, when I was young. so, so many… so fatt-hau… LOL!!
You’re welcome. Didn’t see your doggie. Probably it smelt something fishy and decided not to show itself, lolz! Happy reading.
Eeeek! I was actually humming that tune all evening! ‘Keep smiling, keep shining, knowing you can always count of me for sure…’ and now reading LB writing that. Creepy!
But yes AhMay, you’re my friend too. Though I have never met you, I know how you look like, I know your voice, I read your thoughts, I savour your cookies (mentally), I feel like I’ve known so much of you to not consider you as a friend.
To me, a friend is a friend. One who will be there for you when you need them. No compartmentalising.
Oh yeah, is the font here bigger and more readable, or is it me?
Can we be more than just friends **pant! pant! pant! wag-wag tail!**
oh beautful toes
this is very chim, the compartmentalisation
I’m a simple man, as long as ppl don’t stab me in the back they are frens!
so you’re a fren too! *hugs hugs*
*creeps along with JoMel*
*hugs*
fishtail - nah, she’s friend to all other animals, I’m sure she would’ve welcomed you. she’s such a lazy dog sometimes. hahahaha! will read the books soon! thanks again
JoMel - woooo, sharp eyes, you! yes, I changed it to 12pixels for the font, a tad larger. now that I have a bigger screen, I can fill it up with more stuff! hahahaha!
exactly how I’d put it for you too, Jie Jie. never met personally, but we’ve talked, seen each other’s face, shared all those funny and sad moments, they certainly counts as friendship-points! *HUGSHUGS* *keep smiling, keep shining, knowing you can always count on me…*
cock-a-doodle - hmmmm, I don’t recall a rooster being able to pant and wag its tail! LOLOL!! more than friends? you want to be my personal bodyguard too? *wink*
Fantasyflier - agreed, agreed! no back-stabbing between friends, yea? those don’t make it to the list. *hugs* for FlyBoy!
*joins in the creeping with LB and JoMel…* hmmmm… we’re creeping our way to Smallville? yes?
Jo - awwww… *hugs*!
After reading all the comments, I dun think you need an e-autograph book.
This bunch of folks and their comments spelt one word…. Friends.
LUNCHBOX!
*wavewave*
synchronises watches..
*creep* *creep* *creep*
*loses directions*
*asks Cow where’s Smallville*
*Cow moos that way*
*creep* *creep* *creep*
*creep* *creep*
*bumps into may’s rear..*
*oops*
*JoMels screams from behind*
*OOPs*
*so the DRAMA*
Anonymous - that certainly hit the spot! I think that was a very generous compliment, thank you
plink - uh-huhhhh… lunchbox. supersized! LOLOL!!
moo moo moo…
*ouch*
*rubs ear*
*digs for torchlight*
*turns on torchlight*
*sees JoMel in ditch*
*oooops*
*sees LB in hole with legs in air*
*ooooooops*
and So The Drama continues…
‘When you’re down and troubled
and you need some love and care,
and nothing, nothing is going right,
close your eyes and think of me
and soon I will be there
to brighten up even your darkest night.
You just call out my name,
and you know wherever I am,
I’ll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
all you have to do is call
and I’ll be there
You’ve got a friend
Thanks, May. You’re the best! *big hugs*
Even though we hardly know each other, you have been a good friend to me. The comments you leave on my blog always make me smile
*looks for source of commotion*
*walks around waving flashlight*
*trips over LB*
*pinballs off may/JoMel/FF*
*flashlight goes out*
*darknesszzzz*
Bersambung….
kat - that’s one of my favourite friendship songs too. hope you’re feeling better. another day, another new start, yea? *HUGS*
simmie - awwwww… I love your visits and your comments too! feel good, feel good… yay!
*piak piak plink’s cheek*
*plink pengsan?*
*again?*
*aiyo….*
*groping around in darkness*
*muka kena piakpiakpiak*
*assumes Crouching Kucing Flattened Cicak pose*
*double aiyo*
*picks up plink by the cicak tail…*
hmmmm…
does someone have a tyre pump? need to re-inflate plink here…